In Case You Missed It (ICYMI)

On January 13, 2026, the WRJ Online Program Committee presented a program about prioritizing mental health in the new year, guiding rich and supportive conversations to help us start the year grounded, informed, and empowered.

Pattie Schreiber, Carly Coons, and I were invited to share our professional expertise about boundaries and self-care. Pattie Schreiber is a new WRJ board member with extensive experience working with lay leaders and serves as a Leadership Coach. Carly Coons, Licensed Social Worker, is the Director of Programming & Resiliency Roundtable at BeWell and staff member at the Blue Dove Foundation. I am an online program committee member, past WRJ board member, and Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice.

If you missed it, you missed one of WRJ’s best programs. It’s impossible to cover everything in this blog, so I recommend viewing, and even reviewing, it on WRJ’s YouTube. I found it very helpful to read the transcript and take notes.

One of the unique features of this program, in addition to the usual introductions in the chat, was that we asked the participants a thought-provoking question: “What’s one thing you’ve done to look after yourself in the holiday season?” It took a few minutes for the responses to come in, but we saw many great ideas in the chat.

Pattie started us off by teaching how boundaries are bridges to balance, clarity, and authenticity. They create space for what is important to us and what matters most. She encouraged us to think about boundaries at times when we feel a little stretched or out of balance in our life and daily activities.

It’s easy to think negatively about boundaries; we consider it shutting people out, acting tough or difficult, or coming across as rude when we use them. This session showed us that it doesn’t have to be that way. Boundaries are about us showing up fully, being our authentic selves, and helping us stay grounded. Boundaries matter when we honor our limits.

Pattie spoke about two types of boundaries. Internal boundaries can be physical, emotional, time, energy, and communication. External boundaries include things like work hours, volunteer hours, emails, social media, and phone calls. Check the full presentation to find Pattie’s long list of practical tools for creating boundaries. You’ll also find her “Wheel of Life,” a tool that you can use to figure out what’s working great for you and what’s not working so great.  

Carly continued the discussion by defining “self-care” with a definition from the National Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH): “taking time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical and mental health.” Carly taught that when we are doing something to take care of either our physical or mental health, we simultaneously take care of the other. It’s this connection between our physical body and our emotional body that’s so important to remember.

There are two ways to think of self-care. Reactive self-care is what we know we can do the moment after something has happened. It helps bring us back down from that heightened state. Proactive self-care centers around the long-term habits that we develop to take care of ourselves. Self-care is a boundary.

Though our intent is good, there are some challenges to self-care. Finances, work deadlines or a demanding job, taking care of our family and loved ones, dealing with judgement from others, and lack of interest or motivation are all things that can impact your desire and ability to practice self-care.

In the slide deck, you’ll find Carly’s “Wellness Wheel” where you can imagine your self-care visually. It works well with Pattie’s “Wheel of Life.” Using them together can help give you a lot of insight into your life.

Carly shared that Tu BiShvat is her favorite holiday, especially because it’s her birthday. The holiday is focused on nature and humankind, and stewardship of the earth. It can be a time when we take the time to reflect on how we’re nurturing ourselves.  

With that in mind, Carly shared a meaningful Tu BiShvat meditation asking us to take a moment to plant the seeds of our own mental health wellness using the image of a tree. She asked us to sit with our spine tall like a tree and think of our hands as branches and leaves and our feet, roots. Carly’s soothing words encouraged us to think about what keeps us grounded, what grounding feels like in our bodies, and where grounding resides in your body.  

Describing Carly’s meditation in this blog won’t work as well as experiencing the meditation for yourself. Watch the program on YouTube (Carly’s meditation begins at the 36:40 mark) so you can be as present as the attendees were. Carly left us with a valuable mantra:

“I am safe, I am grounded.”  

Attendees were engaged throughout the program and were happy to have the ability to ask questions. Pattie, Carly, and I shared our thoughts on those questions during the Q&A portion of the program. The questions were exceptional and felt worthy of including here.  

• “I’ve finally started to say ‘no’ and try to achieve some balance. But, even after saying no, I always end up second-guessing and revisiting the ’no’ and dealing with after-guilt.  Any advice on how to let it go?”
• “With mental health matters, often there is a fine line between caring friends and too much probing on sensitive matters. What is the best way to move on to protect yourself and not be rude to the person?  Sometimes when I try to say, ‘I’d rather not talk about that’ it comes off too aggressive and the person is hurt.  Any ideas?”
• “Everyone says you should get rid of ’toxic friends.’  Do you owe them an apology before you bail?  I keep wondering if maybe they don’t realize how negative or problematic they really are but bringing it up might make it worse!”

I find it very challenging to do justice to this program since it’s not possible to describe all the details of an experiential program like this; otherwise, it would be a very lengthy blog. The only way is for you to see it. If you missed it, set your boundary, take the opportunity to find a quiet time that’s convenient for you to watch, and enjoy it.

It’s an antidote to FOMO (fear of missing out!).