Choosing Judaism, Choosing Sisterhood

I did not grow up Jewish, but now, I cannot imagine my life without Reform Judaism. Being Jewish is a fundamental part of who I am. It has helped shape my values, perspectives, and all that I do. My love of storytelling, social justice, Torah, and Israel fuel my deep commitment to creating positive social change while bringing a feminist perspective.

Being part of a Jewish women’s group has made all the difference.

I did not grow up with much of a female support network or a feeling of sisterhood. For much of my life, I haven’t always felt included by the women in my community. For a brief time, when I was practicing as a litigation attorney in a very male dominated environment, I had some wonderful female colleagues who were great mentors and friends. Then, when I retired and became a full-time mom at thirty-two, I never joined any moms’ groups. I was just too intimidated.

When I finally found my way into the sisterhood at my synagogue, a whole new world emerged for me.

Sisterhood means different things to different people. In its broadest sense, sisterhood signifies a bond of solidarity and mutual support among women - a network of women who uplift and inspire each other. For me, sisterhood is not merely a concept, but a lived reality, a cornerstone of my own personal growth and well-being. It is a support system of trust, understanding, and unwavering encouragement that has helped shape my Jewish feminist identity and views of the world. Whether I’m with my local women’s group or with my WRJ sisters and friends around North America, I feel seen, heard, and understood - that what I think and say matters. I feel accepted and appreciated, and knowing that others have my back, in turn, has given me more confidence to be creative, courageous, and to step into positions of leadership. I may not always know what I’m doing, but I do know that my friends in sisterhood are always there to help me figure things out.

People often ask me, “What’s so special about a Jewish women’s group? Do we need women’s groups anymore now that women are involved in so many other facets of synagogue and community leadership and life?”

I tell them, “Yes!” There is a continuing role for women’s groups in synagogues and Jewish communal life, just as there is a continuing need for the kind of sisterhood WRJ offers its members and supporters. Women’s groups are a valuable source of connection and emotional support as well as mentorship and leadership development. They are a powerful vehicle for social justice advocacy and offer myriad opportunities for engagement. As women continue to face so many significant hurdles and challenges in today’s world, sisterhood is more important than ever.  For me personally, leaning into sisterhood right now, in the current political climate, and feeling the collective energy of women around me sharing their stories of struggle and concern and resilience, has given me a lot of support and hope. The complexity of sisterhood today reflects an understanding that its significance can vary widely among individuals, especially in light of our changing understandings of gender identity, while still serving as a unifying force to combat social injustices that affect women collectively. The strength of sisterhood lies in its ability to turn individual struggles into collective empowerment – it’s the feeling that we’re in this together.

When I joined Women of Isaiah (the sisterhood at my synagogue, Temple Isaiah, in Lafayette, California), I realized there is something unique, warm, and incredibly special about being part of a women’s group. After a decade of feeling a bit lonely and isolated as a retired lawyer and stay-at-home mom, I suddenly felt a connection to others with similar lived experiences. I enjoyed spending time with them and I was learning so much, about what it meant to be Jewish and what it meant to be engaged with our community. These were creative and interesting women who may have had their differences but shared a deep love and respect for each other. They came together not only to socialize and have fun, but to tackle serious issues, to pray, learn, collaborate on projects, and help make our world a better place through acts of tikkun olam. As I took on more responsibilities within the group, I was blessed with many mentors who generously shared their experiences and valuable expertise. My friends from Women of Isaiah were there to cheer me on and celebrate with me as I converted to Judaism and became an adult bat mitzvah. They were there to hold me up and catch my tears each time I suffered another loss. They have always been there for me, and with me, sharing my journey.

When I took on the role of Women of Isaiah co-president, I decided to attend my first WRJ Pacific District Convention. Wow! It was sisterhood on a whole new level of community, collaboration, and celebration. I was so inspired and excited to get more involved with this dynamic network of Reform Jewish women throughout the Pacific District, and across North America, who really seemed to embody such passionate belief in each other and in our collective ability to change the world.

When my sisterhood presidency ended, one of my Women of Isaiah friends encouraged me to apply to the WRJ Board. Over the past ten years, I have served in a number of different roles on the WRJ Board and also on the WRJ Pacific District Board. Being involved with WRJ has transformed my life. Thanks to WRJ, I’ve had opportunities to make friends around the world, to create and lead worship services, and to become an effective advocate for issues I believe in. I am proud to be part of this organization that is committed to principles of inclusion and belonging, and to thinking about how we, as a Jewish women’s organization, can be more welcoming to all who share our values and our mission. One of the things I love most about WRJ is that they continue to challenge me with new and different opportunities to stretch myself in new directions and to grow from the experiences. My WRJ sisters and friends inspire me to be a better person. I feel like I’ve made a full-time job out of my volunteer work with WRJ, and you know what? I couldn’t be happier!

I am not alone in feeling this way. I hear all the time from my WRJ colleagues how being part of WRJ sisterhood on a local or District or North American level provided them with a safe space to cultivate their leadership skills and gain confidence, to develop their passions and strengths, and to find their own voice. Many of them have gone on to be congregational presidents, board chairs, social justice advocates, leaders in our Reform Movement, and more.

In addition to meaningful connections and personal empowerment, sisterhood also fosters a sense of shared responsibility and collective action. The many challenges still faced by women today underscore the need for sisterhood in an ever-evolving feminist narrative. When women come together, they not only empower each other but also create a powerful force for change. For over 110 years, WRJ has been at the forefront, leading our Reform movement in social justice work – from advancing women's leadership to supporting racial and gender equality, the rights of the LGBTQ+ community, immigration and criminal justice reform, gun violence prevention, pay equity, and employment rights. WRJ understands the power of women coming together to acknowledge and address the challenges we face as women, and to pave the way for change. With every decade, progress has been made, but there is still so much more to be done, and women’s groups are still needed to lead the way forward. By nurturing and strengthening our sisterhood connections, we can build a more just and equitable future for all.

The magic of sisterhood is difficult to describe, but it is very real. Being part of a Reform Jewish women’s group may not be for everyone, but I encourage everyone who identifies as female, nonbinary, or gender fluid, and identifies as Jewish or has a commitment to the Jewish community, to give it a try. Learn more about the network of Reform Jewish women in your community and about WRJ. Attend an event or program – online or in person. Share your voice and perspectives, your own unique passions and talents. You may be surprised at the amount of strength, joy, and connection you find. As Women of Reform Judaism, we are always stronger together.