"Hungry for More"

I’m not usually an organization or club joiner, or anything that involves extensive group planning, protocol following, or being with a group that involves women that I am not familiar with; i.e. what I thought a temple sisterhood represented.  

Out of the forty plus years I have belonged to our current congregation, I have only been an active member of my sisterhood for about the last four years. It’s not that they didn’t actively reach out to me — they tried every year. I would always have a robust reason not to join: I’m working, my kids need me, my parents needed me, my dog needed me, I had to clean the house, mow the “lower forty” (not really forty, nor did I mow it). I was told how wonderful the comradery was, how informative or fun the activities were, or how important it was to support the temple, even if just paying the sisterhood dues. Then, over the course of time, I retired from my career, my kids moved out and have created families of their own, my parents are no longer with me, and my dog will survive without me, at least for a little while. I had run out of excuses and, thank God, my friend Donna, who was always active in sisterhood, had not given up on me.  I finally said yes, but I told her upfront that she wasn’t to expect me to attend meetings nor was I going to get involved in the nuances of the organization. She said that would be fine, but she would be more than happy to pick me up so that I would not have to walk in alone when I was ready to actually join in. I finally said that I would attend one of the fun activities.  It was fun and the women were welcoming, so I went back again to the next activity, which was also engaging and, once again, the women were welcoming. They said they were glad to see me and made sure I felt included. After a few years of sporadically attending sisterhood functions, I was then asked if I would serve on the membership committee. I said I would if I could just prepare mailings, and that is exactly what I did.  After working behind the scenes for a couple of years, I was asked if I would co-chair the membership committee. I said yes, if I could share the position with someone else (my safety net in case I wanted to bail out). I remembered the personalized notes that Donna would always write on my application letters, and how it made me feel wanted and special. I started writing the same type of notes before I stuffed the membership applications. It made me feel relevant and connected. I found that I wanted others to feel relevant and connected as well.

Our sisterhood hosted an Area Day at our temple, where women from throughout the state and some WRJ Southeast board members attended. I was invited to go to dinner with the visiting board members and our Tree of Life Sisterhood board the night before. To be honest, I was hesitant and somewhat intimidated. These women were very involved in Women of Reform Judaism and all appeared to be well accomplished. I anticipated a lot of organizational talk that would go over my head. That is the complete opposite of what happened. The current WRJ Southeast President, Faith Alexander, spoke to me about someone we mutually knew and then Amy Ahmed, the Vice President, and I shared pictures of our dogs. The women were very down to earth and appeared to be sincerely interested in whatever I had to say. Once again, I felt valued and relevant.

At the Area Day, they saw something in me that I had not seen in myself. When asked if I was a leader or a follower, I immediately said follower, and they were adamant that I was a leader. Somehow, I gradually saw myself as someone who could make a difference in sisterhood. By the end of the day, I was sold on the idea that I, indeed, had something to offer, and I was hungry for more.

My friend Donna, the co-president of the sisterhood at the time, wasn’t finished with me yet. A WRJ North American conference was going to be held in New Orleans. She said how wonderful an experience sharing Shabbat with three hundred women from all over the country was. These women were all there to support each other and support Jewish women’s causes. This was a hard no for me, but then my friend Sarah said we could do a road trip together and enjoy New Orleans while we were at the conference. I can’t resist road trips, so we were on our way to the Fried Women’s Conference. I had no idea what to expect, but Faith made sure that, in her own words, “her people” were taken care of and kept close together as a group. Not only was I included, but I belonged with “my Southeast people,” now my words. By the end of the long weekend, I was hungry for the next event. Before I left the hotel for the journey home, I actually asked where the next conference was going to be held. I was told that there was going to be a social justice conference in Washington, D.C. I was actually disappointed, because I couldn’t see myself traveling all the way to DC. However, by the time we reached home in South Carolina, my friend Sarah and I decided that we would plan to go to DC, once again road tripping!

Before the 2025 Social Justice Conference in DC, there was going to be a kallah weekend at Camp Colemen for the WRJ Southeast sisterhoods. As a child, although I had the opportunity to go to sleepaway camp, I never went. The same fears I had as a child, I had as an adult. I was intimidated and did not feel like I belonged, but I went anyway. Nobody could have prepared me for the comradery, laughter, and growth as a Jewish woman, once again sharing a wonderful Shabbat on a beautiful Saturday morning among the Georgia mountains. I left once again hungry for more.

The Social Justice Conference delivered more of the same, great sessions and an incredible Shabbat experience. I was so touched at one point, hearing all the voices joined together singing the Sh’ma, that I had tears in my eyes. I am not being overdramatic; the sense of belonging and a shared purpose touched all of us. Again, I left hungry for more.

Although I will have to be patient and wait until next March for the WRJ Southeast Conference in Tuscaloosa, I am now in daily contact with my sisters from all over the Southeast, sharing the experiences that sisters share: crying together, celebrating together, laughing together. I know now that there is always room for more sisters. I thank those sisterhood members who didn’t give up on me, and I look forward to sharing my experiences with other reluctant potential WRJ members.