My Experience as an American Jew in Israel

As an American Reform Jew, my understanding of Jewish practice and gender equality was shaped by the values of my community. Growing up, I was accustomed to seeing women and men equally engaged in Jewish life. It has never been a radical concept for me to see women leading prayer services, reading from the Torah, or making significant decisions within the synagogue, as a rabbi would. These practices were normal, empowering, and most importantly, an integral part of my Jewish identity. For me, the idea that women and men can have equal roles in Judaism is just part of the fabric of my faith.

Being on a gap year program and living in Israel for a year has given me a different perspective on Jewish practice. As the heart of Jewish life, Israel is a place where Jewish identity is expressed in deeply diverse and sometimes conflicting ways. It’s a place where one might expect a seamless connection between tradition and modernity, yet often I’ve encountered a prevailing sentiment that there is only one “right” way to be Jewish. This idea is particularly pronounced regarding the intersection of gender and religious practice.

One of the most striking moments for me occurred during a Rosh Hodesh service with Women of the Wall at the Kotel. The service we gathered for was led by a woman, a common and natural experience for me, but as we prayed, I noticed the looks of disapproval and the whispers around us. Some people were offended, and we received several dirty looks and harsh comments. This was not just an isolated event; it’s a pattern I’ve experienced throughout my gap year as well. When some of the more Orthodox or traditional students in my program see a woman leading a prayer service or even an egalitarian service, they are visibly shocked and uncomfortable, and sometimes even object by leaving the room.

When one Friday night I asked to recite the Kiddush, the blessing over the wine, many of the male participants said they would rather eat alone. For them, a woman leading prayer is not just surprising, it seems to challenge their understanding of what’s “appropriate” in Jewish practice. Here in Israel, I’ve realized how much of my identity as a Reform Jew stands in contrast to the religious norms of the traditional communities. Living in Israel has forced me to confront the reality that Judaism is not one unified practice, but a broad spectrum of beliefs and rituals. The experience at the Kotel served as a reminder of the resistance many people face in their efforts to make Jewish spaces more inclusive - especially for women. 
It has also reminded me that, for all the diversity within Judaism, there is a fundamental difference in how we view respect. 

For me, being Jewish has always been about inclusivity and equality. For many of my Israeli peers, being Jewish is deeply rooted in tradition and a specific set of beliefs. The lesson here is clear: there’s more than one way to be Jewish, but there should be mutual respect between those that practice differently. My journey with Women of the Wall is just one way that I engage with and contribute to a vision of Judaism that includes all people, regardless of gender. It has been a powerful reminder that, while there are many ways to be Jewish, there is always room for progress and growth, and that respect for all practices is key to moving forward together.